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Much like a naked adaptation of The Tempest, our two protagonists were seemingly guided by some mysterious magical force at work on this island of flesh. She is the proud owner of very large breast implants. They make her more money than little boobs, and, she reveals, they are magical. But both of these souls are from Northern California; they speak the same language without even having to say a word — they decide to do naked cartwheels in the grass as a “get to know you” activity. For a while, it seems like these two really might have a “genuine connection.” But over dinner, after a real heart-to-heart, it turns out their dating philosophies are incompatible. He puts on his cowboy hat, the one that makes him feel a little bit more confident, like Chad Kroeger, and goes to meet his second lady.
We’ll get to Meg’s date later — it was actually quite inconsequential — but a quick summary: Meg is a former stripper from South Carolina. J., Nickelback fan, has been dreaming of this moment — the moment he drops trou in front of a female stranger — his entire life. As Liddy approaches, he drops the icebreaker: “Hi, I’m A. and this is my cock and balls.” The ice remained intact. (This is a standard VH1 joke: two naked people straddling a giant, high-speed phallus. It’s a meta-funny.) Anyway, they are both turned on by each other’s wanton disregard for their genital safety and free-spirited humping of a giant banana. Did Liddy’s rejection affect him more than he thought? (She demonstrates a disturbing prejudice against soft, white things. Joe uses this opportunity to assert his masculinity by telling Liddy she can’t read a map, but also demonstrates his ingrained southern gentleman tendency by grabbing her bare butt to help her maintain balance. Liddy proceeds to take a shot and finally gets to release that gag she’d been suppressing all day.
Shayne also seems to have finally laid his X Factor demons to rest.
He publically sounded off about his exclusion from the show's 10th Anniversary celebrations, but nowadays he says he's "not bitter.""I understood from the get-go, it is a conveyor belt industry."They’ve gotta do what they’ve gotta do."For me, I don’t even hold it at arms distance."It’s like another job that you have and you left and you go to another one."I took as much as I could from it." After stints in the musical Rock of Ages and a national arena tour coming up in the autumn of Jeff Wayne's War of the Words, Shayne is ready to be a pop star again.
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