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Your own survival is crucial, and if you do happen to fall in love with a married man, there are several hard truths you need to know. The needs of the many (namely, his family) will always outweigh your needs.
She is not his wife, she is not mother to his children, she is not his parents' daughter-in-law.
Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to say the least.
You are evidence of his avoiding dealing with unpleasant situations head on. Having to keep your relationship a secret can attack your self-esteem and cause you to miss out on one of the wonderful aspects of a relationship. He has a legitimate married relationship that helps his public persona and he has an illegitimate one with you to make up for what heâs missing in his marriage. Even though he's the one that made it difficult to say "No." And even though he tells you how wonderful you are. Many men (and women) have difficulty accepting full responsibility for their deceitful actions.
This means that he's likely to resort to some devious behavior with you if the two of you encounter relationship problems. Walking together freely and radiantly through the world can fill you with the glow of being with someone who is proud to be with you. As appreciative as he sounds, many women who are involved with married men come to resent his having the best of both worlds, when she has the least. Can you love someone who is so disrespectful of his wife? At some level, he's going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such a flawed relationship. Despite his reassuring you how much you mean to him, his not ending his relationship with his wife in an above-board and respectful way -- and not beginning a legitimate relationship with you -- are actions that speak louder than words. Human nature finds it easier to blame than to accept shame. Ever notice how quickly the years go as you get older?
(c) Mark Goulston Blog Author, you take an almost too extreme stand against affairs.