Dating as an acoa
If alcoholism seems like a lot to handle, imagine growing up with addicted parents.
Arguments are pervasive, and violence or even incest may play a role.
Children in alcoholic families suffer trauma as acute as soldiers in combat; they also carry the trauma like an albatross throughout their lives.
The lack of clear messages forced you to create many of your beliefs and values, rather than learning them through example.
Because your parents didn't consistently care for you in all the ways that a child needs care, you have had to do a lot of self' parenting.
Ideally, by the time one reaches adulthood, the inner messages are much stronger than the outside influences.