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One final piece of advice: You have to stand out, so be interesting. Don’t look back or think about why she never contacted you – because you will never know why. When someone is having issues with getting matches, it is often times because their settings are just too restrictive.

Yet true love also still eludes many of us involved in online dating. If we were out in the real world, you'd ask (I hope). Not because women who pole dance aren't marriage-minded, but because like it or not, we all have some social norms and stereotypes to which we ascribe.

One of the biggest advantages these sites supposedly offer is volume. Just because we're online doesn't mean the rules are different. (Like the fact that most men probably don't want to marry a woman whose pole-dancing pix are all over Zoosk). I'm going to make assumptions about your manhood (so to speak) from everything you do (or don't) do online.

The report, commissioned by dating website Zoosk, also found that men were more likely to have success with online dating if their profile featured a picture taken outside (with 19 per cent more messages), while women who posted outdoors pictures got 40 per cent fewer messages on average.

Susan Quilliam, a relationships coach who runs courses in online dating, said women might be more likely to contact a man who mentions a divorce because this offers reassurance that he is now single.

It sure would make writing this more entertaining, and reading it would be much more fun too. Maybe the rock-star lifestyle would be fun, but I don't want to live that life and a girl that's looking for that is not for me.

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